*Readers' Discretion Advised*
Strap yourselves in people! This is going to be a long ass chapter!
Judgement Day was approaching for the Silver and Black Shitshow. The well-oiled machine known as the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cult of Mahomes were coming to town. As the Shitshow prepared for its inevitable beatdown, one former player opened up about the lackadaisical time during his tenure with the team.
That man would be Amari Cooper.
Since contributing to the Dallas Cowboys to a 3-1 stretch run, Mr. Cooper opened up in an interview since the Tank Commander traded him to Jerryworld. He felt that the trade "changed him as a person." It was well documented during that Thanksgiving game against the Redskins where he started showing more personality than he did in four combined seasons in Oakland. He did pull a string in this interview with a couple of key quotes:
"I wasn't really happy in Oakland."
"I just always felt like I wasn't really being used how I felt like I would have used me if I was the coach."
After reading the entire interview, I only had one question: WHY!? Why did you have to phrase it that way? Because of that interview, you just made yourself Public Enemy #1 to the entire Raider Nation as they turned your back on you immediately. In fact, Raider legend, Phil Villapiano called you a "sissy" and a "punk." Phil really wanted to rewind it back to 1976 along with George Atkinson and "The Assassin" Jack Tatum to pop you in the mouth across the middle. Don't get me wrong, as a fan who endorsed you to be a Raider since I saw your breakout year in Alabama, nobody outside of Bill Musgrave knew how to utilize you and I agreed with the 2nd quote. Your first two 1,000 yard seasons were nothing more than an afterthought as Drowning Downing and Vanilla Olson ruined you following Billy's departure. In fact, you're doing much better now that you have a QB who lets plays develop instead of a Checkdown Derek that gets rid of the ball too quick. You get to showcase your precise route running a little more in Dallas. But the number one rule if you want that "Once a Raider, Always a Raider" title, you don't make your unhappy time in Oakland publicly known! You could've taken the high road like Khalil Mack did. But to say that you weren't happy in your time in Oakland puts you in company with the likes of Warren Sapp, Randy Moss, and JaMarcus Russell, former Raiders who don't deserve the "Once a Raider, Always a Raider" title. You've brought shame to me Amari. Continue on with your great performance with the Cowboys though as you helped the team to an upset victory against the Saints.
Despite the tank job the Silver and Black Shitshow showed all season, they were by all accounts not eliminated from playoff contention. How that was a possibility was beyond comprehension. SB Nation drew up a five week scenario where the Raiders won every game from here on out and a couple of games fell their way over the past week.
- Jaguars beat Colts
- Falcons beat Ravens
- Jets beat Titans
- Dolphins beat Bills
- Broncos beat Bengals
- Texans beat Browns.
I couldn't believe that the best case scenario almost happened. But, the possibility was thrown out the window when the Ravens beat the Falcons and the Titans beat the Jets. But, the Raiders still had a glimmer of hope. They just have to win against the Kansas City-welp that's it they're fucking dead. Mahomes and that well-oiled Andy Reid offense is gonna burn them! However through divine intervention, the Shitshow got a little unsung help to spring a possible upset against their bitter AFC West rivals.
*The other place where Sports Athletes' Careers go to die...from outta nowhere.*
Whenever a sports figure shows up on TMZ, chances are that things are looking bleak going forward in his career. I mean come on! They were integral in getting Donald Sterling kicked out of NBA ownership. The latest athlete to receive the "kiss of death" from the most annoying site of tabloid media in the world, none other than Kansas City Chiefs star Running Back, Kareem Hunt.
Security footage leaked to TMZ last Friday of an incident at a hotel in Cleveland where Kareem Hunt and his entourage were caught in a shouting match with a drunk, underage woman. The woman shouted the "n word" at Hunt repeatedly that Hunt started pushing and shoving the her. Hunt's entourage intervened to calm Hunt down. But, the woman and her girl friend continued to provoke the Kansas City star. Then, all hell broke loose as the woman was pushed to the ground. Hunt got a little too extracurricular by kicking the woman while he was down to the ground. The video was then under investigation by the NFL that the NFL placed Hunt on the exempt list. In return, the Chiefs released Hunt not because of the incident, but they believed he was too dishonest when it came to telling the truth.
A moment of silence for Kareem Hunt Fantasy owners.
In all seriousness, the issue of domestic violence reared its ugly head yet again in the NFL. I understand that Kareem Hunt was getting provoked by these two women as they yelled out racial slurs to him. Who can blame him for standing up? It's a matter of how he did it by being a big, dumb "KHunt." Yes, when your first initial is "K" and your last name is "Hunt," that's what you'll be remembered by. There was no question that Kareem Hunt fucked up his NFL career royally after that incident. Kicking the lady while she was already knocked to the ground? C'mon man, no need to go that far! Unless you were planning on taking over for Harrison Butker as the new kicker for the Chiefs, go kick a football! Going back to the domestic violence issue, it shows the double standard and inconsistency by the NFL when it comes to this issue. The NFL has dragged their feet time and time again with their lackadaisical stance on this issue. They don't even have a set discipline for it either! Some players get a slap in the wrist with one or a few games suspended. Some are banned from professional football. Some get released by their team and no other teams picks them up, but they're still out there (ie: Ray Rice). And others are still playing in the league and the NFL are nonchalant about their cases. The Redskins signed Reuben Foster despite another domestic violence incident that he got cut from the 49ers, the NFL doesn't bat an eye yet. The Kareem Hunt video goes viral and they take immediate action. It's no wonder that this league is dying because the NFL can't make up their goddamn minds when it comes to handling this sensitive issue and not all domestic violence cases among NFL athletes are created equal through the eyes of the league. Nor can they come up with an established, consistent disciplinary system when it comes to this league-wide chronic issue.
Raider Nation thanks TMZ for the assist. But at a cost, the Cult of Mahomes grew bigger and badder. KHunt or no KHunt, the Chiefs were going to put a mud stomping on the Shitshow. Mahomes started with a strike to Kelce and Kelce is off to the races, *Kelce fumbles the football.* Well, well, this makes things a lot interesting. But, the Raiders couldn't capitalize as they stalled with a 3 and out.
*Mahomes hits Kelce for the TD* Yup, it's over. Nothing to see here. Now the Kansas City Chiefs are going to kick our a-*down 10-0 at the end of Q1.* Well, that wasn't so bad. The Raiders held the Kansas City juggernaut to just 10 points. The Raiders are competing, that's a good sign. They just put together a solid drive capping off with a Doug Martin one-yard TD. But, unfortunately they let the Chiefs drive down the field. The biggest gut wrencher was that 38-yard Mahomes pass to Demarcus Robinson. Honestly, how the hell do you allow this guy to go sideline to sideline and not tackle him inbounds? Despite a good showing by Gareon Conley, this doesn't change the fact that this secondary is still fucking trash. Then again every secondary is trash without a decent pass rush.
*Mahomes hits Kelce with another TD* It's 19-7. Nothing to see here. Blocked PAT. Woohoo. But Kansas City is going to come out of the locker room to whoop some Silver and Black ass. I can see it now.
*Raiders down 26-10* Raider Nation, I can't say that I told you so, but I told you so. This team is just not that good to combat the Cult of Mahomes. Checkdown Derek is suffocating behind Tom Cable's most penetrable O-line. *Carr hits Cook for a TD to cut it to 26-16.* It's no longer AC/DC = TD, it's now JC/DC = TD. Unfortunately, Carr could not hit Jalen Richard in stride for the two-point conversion.
*Fumble by Richard, Chiefs extend lead 33-16.* It's impossible for the Shitshow to win in a shootout. Just drop your flags and tank. The Tank Commander commands it. *Derek Carr hits Lee Smith for a TD to cut lead to 33-23.* Okay, it's back to 10 points, but we all know the Cult of Mahomes and the Cheetah speed of Tyreek Hill and Mini "Gronk" Kelce will respond back.
*Raiders cut the lead 33-30* Holy shit, this is actually a game now! The Raiders can do it! They can pull the biggest upset of the year! Derek Carr has risen! He'll beat the Chiefs from behind like he did in 2014 and 2017. Jordy Nelson has rekindled his Green Bay form! Jared is cooking! Pocket Rocket Jalen Richard has returned to form! The defense just needs one stop for once in its Khalil Mack-less life. They continue to bend, but we just need one stop. Give the ball back to Derek and this inspired Raiders offense. Just hold them in the end zone boys! Hold them to a field-
*Mahomes hits Chris Conley to extend the lead KC 40-30 late in the 4th.* "GODDAMN IT! Y'ALL HAD ONE FUCKING JOB! CAN'T THIS DEFENSE DO ITS FUCKING JOB FOR ONCE?! THIS IS WHY TRADING KHALIL FUCKING MACK AND RELEASING BRUCE FUCKING IRVIN WERE TERRIBLE IDEAS! WE NEEDED THAT QB PRESSURE! FUCK!"
As a Raider fan, I could not be mad at this effort. They could've just let Kansas City "beat the Devil" out of them as they don't have a lot to play for. But there was one thing that they were playing for and that was pride. The Raiders-Chiefs rivalry had lost its luster as it has been lopsided in favor of the Chiefs since the 1990s. And as football fans, we hope that this rivalry returns to its former glory once again as we were cockteased from 2015-2017. There were signs of heart from the Raiders and a Derek Carr that's slowly re-surging back to 2016 form and good to know that some veterans on this roster still give a flying fuck about playing for the Silver and Black.
Chiefs Kingdom though, my goodness, talk about a weekend for you guys. Your former stud running back did the dumbest shit in the world and now the whole nation sees it. Your defense is ass. You should be mad that you didn't win in convincing fashion against a Raiders team that is completely voided of young, promising talent and veterans on their last legs. This tells me one thing: the Chiefs will keep going depending how far Patrick Mahomes and this offense can take them. Hmmm...that sounds familiar. That reminds me of the 2016 Raiders. The defense was asinine, but Derek Carr and the offense kept putting points on the board until he got hurt. Better hope the same fate doesn't await the almighty Mahomes. Without Hunt, Mahomes is going to have to carry that big load. Oh and Andy Reid is still the head coach. We know how his teams turn out in the postseason. And to top it all off, you guys still won't sniff a Super Bowl as long as Darth Brady, Emperor Belichick, and the Death Star Patriots from Foxborough, MA are still around and exerting their AFC dominance.
*Oh, the Raiders are expected to make an appearance on the next episode of Days of Our Steelers? I can't wait to do a Silver and Black Shitshow chapter on that... Wait, so you guys think it's best for me to leave this to (Urinating)'Tree? Well, what the hell is my Week 14 content gonna be about then?*
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