*Readers' Discretion is Advised*
Before I write this chapter, I will let you know that I am in no way, shape, or form, associated with UrinatingTree nor responsible for the creation of "Days of Our Steelers." I am just a fan of his content and shitposting of all things sports. The shitposting of UrinatingTree of his own Pittsburgh Steelers has inspired me to create this segment on the blog to substitute live coverage of Raider games. Cause let's be honest, they aren't doing that well since they made a string of dumb ass decisions in the thought of thinking they can easily replace a talent of Mack or Cooper's talent in the next NFL Draft. They're tanking right now. That is a fact. And the lack of cohesion among the organization, front office, coaching staff, and players has manifested itself week after week. Since the Raiders did play the Steelers and won in a way that'll awaken the rage of the Yinzer, it would eventually set up for a "Days of Our Steelers" episode of epic proportions.
This chapter will be a lot different. What will be written here is not a rehash of the new "Days of Our Steelers" episode. What this chapter will be is a scholarly critique of the episode from the perspective of a Raiders fan who's lost all sanity at the start of the season. Well, scholarly may be pushing it because that don't mix with insanity. But you guys get what I mean. If you're a sports fan who hasn't heard of him, then I suggest you go check out his YouTube channel and subscribe. Praise the almighty Yinzer and his rage! And fuck you Spanos!
If you love sports and drama, whether you're a Steelers fan, a Steelers hater, or an NFL newbie, you will love "Days of Our Steelers." "Days of Our Steelers" is an episodic mini series on YouTube created by UrinatingTree. The premise behind the segment chronicles the drama within the Pittsburgh Steelers organization. Such examples include Le'Veon Bell's holdout, Antonio Brown being a diva and throwing a temper tantrum when the ball is not thrown to him, and Captain Fatfuck himself, Big Ben Roethlisberger throwing teammates under the bus because he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do. The segment itself is even funnier when the Steelers lose against weaker competition that they should've beaten soundly. After all, the Steelers have a chronic history of playing down to their level of competition over the years. They are an example of potent talent that's being handicapped because of their pride and arrogance, blindly assuming that the league will bow down to them.
This week's episode of "Days of Our Steelers" featured the Silver and Black Shitshow themselves or the "Autumn Fart" as UrinatingTree coined them. This was the Steelers' last chance to beat an AFC West opponent as they were 0-3 in their attempts. The Steelers were flat out embarrassed in Pittsburgh by the Cult of Mahomes and Kareem Hunt before he became known as "The KHunt." Second try, the Steelers got a little Mile High as they lose to the Broncos when Captain Fatfuck threw a very sloppy interception at the 3-yard line to Shelby Harris, the ex-Raider, in the End Zone. Why not give it to James Conner to punch it in? Two Sunday Nights ago, they faced off against a surging Chargers team. I mean, that game should've been the game where the real Steelers should've stood up. They're facing off against a contending team. San Dieg-err Los Angeles doesn't even have their best running back on the field in Melvin Gordon. This should be an easy win for Pittsburgh at home. They couldn't capitalize after building a big lead because to the Steelers, "halftime adjustments" did not exist in the English language. And who can forget the infamous final seconds of that game when the Steelers were offsides for three consecutive fucking plays? At this point, it's like they're begging the Ravens to overtake them for the division lead in the AFC North.
Since the Raiders pulled off the upset, I've been waiting for this episode all week and I was not disappointed one bit. Something about the Oakland Coliseum just brings the worst out of the Steelers and they lose in the most stunning fashion possible to the Raiders. Since Ben Roethlisberger entered the league, the Steelers lost in their visits to Oakland in 2006, 2012, 2013, and 2018. Out of those four teams, the 2006 Raiders roster at least had talent. They had a great defense and Randy Moss *shudders* was still a deep threat whenever he's on the field. The only problem was Art Shell, his coaching staff, the outdated schemes they ran, and Andrew Walter and Aaron Brooks tagging in and out as starting quarterbacks. 2012, 2013, and 2018, the Raiders were in the midst of roster deconstruction and the Steelers overwhelmed them in talent on both sides of the ball. But as usual, they play down to their level and it bites them in the ass.
The rib injury on Ben Roethlisberger, outside of the issues of cleats and footing from Ryan Switzer and Chris Boswell was probably the most mysterious thing that happened in this game and this was covered in half of the episode. At first glance, I thought Big Ben was in concussion protocol, it turned out it was a rib injury. He did take a good shot. I couldn't remember who tackled him. Would the Steelers had finally break the curse had Big Ben played the whole game? That is arguable. Because honestly, they did not look good with their backup QB. That was the perfect opportunity for the Silver and Black to stop being the Shitshow. They couldn't do anything the majority of the third quarter as the Steelers D easily penetrated the most penetrable O-line courtesy of the Cable guy. Checkdown Derek was getting harassed as he took sack after sack. But luckily, the Steelers couldn't do anything without Big Ben. That set up the Shitshow to conduct the ritual to resurrect 2016 MVP Derek Carr. "The shattered dreams of what was once a quarterback (4:18)" was indeed resurrected as he outclutched Big Ben in the last two TD drives. The last drive though that set up the TD to Derek Carrier, Carr threw a deep ball to Seth Roberts. That play looked awfully familiar when Carr hit Crabtree in stride 3 years ago against the same Steelers team for the game-tying TD in Pittsburgh. It's safe to say, on that play, that Derek Carr and Seth Roberts are finally reminded that money is the root of all evil and started balling like they did before they hit lucrative pay dirt with contract extensions.
It's not just fact that the Steelers lost, it's how they lost. From Big Ben's mysterious rib injury to Chris Boswell slipping and sliding for the game-tying field goal. I gotta admit, that lateral to JuJu Smith-Schuster almost got me a heart attack. It was almost like Antonio Brown outrunning a near 40-year old Charles Woodson back in 2015 to set up a Boswell game-winning field goal. Speaking of AB, I guess it's a big win that he didn't put up 200+ receiving yards yet again considering how shit this defense is without a consistent pass rush. He was lost on "(Gareon) Conley Island" this game. This time, it didn't bite the Raiders in the ass because the Steelers do what they do when they come to Oakland and that's lose in embarrassing fashion. To no surprise, the Yinzer raged on the Steelers' shortcomings, which is always the best part of this segment. Good luck against New England and New Orleans the next two weeks. This episode definitely sets up another two more great episodes to come.
While the Raiders celebrated the win and the Tank Commander celebrated with Raider Nation, the jubilation was short-lived and they immediately turned back to the Shitshow we know and love. The day after the win against the Steelers, the Shitshow proceeded to relieve Big, Fat, Freckle-Faced Reggie McKenzie of his general manager duties. Let's be honest, we saw this coming a mile away since Chucky was hired. True, McKenzie didn't exactly have a good track record, but the guy was financially strapped his first two years. He finally builds a team only for the Tank Commander to tear it back down and place all the blame on McKenzie for his shortcomings. "I was in the meeting room when the announcement was made." Chucky said. That is signs of deflecting blame that you have a hand when you literally berate McKenzie to the press week after week. You'll be well on your way to a political career after this shitfest Chuckster!
With the trades and the behind-the-scenes politics within, the Raiders have hit an all-time low in terms of being an incompetent organization. It's just like Fight Club. "The first rule of Fight Club' is that you don't talk about 'Fight Club.'"And the Raiders clearly don't want to talk about the internal turmoil surrounding this team. What's the worse that could happen? Oh look, the City of Oakland is finally filing that lawsuit for you to finally get the fuck out after cockteasing them since the Vegas move was approved. There goes all hope of playing in Oakland until the Vegas stadium is complete in 2020. After Christmas Eve this year, you'll no longer be known as the Oakland Raiders. You'll be the To Be Determined (TBD)...Raiders...of Las Vegas. Time to start home searching. You got a head start by going overseas yet again next year for an International Series game that the NFL likes to shove down everyone's throats. But hey, no matter where they go it's Raider Nation all day right? Astonishing to see that a team with the same name and colors changes entirely new locations five times in their franchise history. Five times! Absolute lunacy at its finest! Sums up the dysfunction of this organization's ownership under the Davis family.
No comments:
Post a Comment