The Silver and Black Shitshow: Chapter 1 - "Down on Their 'Luck' (Pilot)"

*Reader's Discretion Advised*

After the Seattle shellacking in the U.K., the Silver and Black Shitshow returned back to their confines of Alameda. From the orders of Tank Commander Gruden, everyone must go. Despite the Chuckster's efforts of assuring the media that they're not tanking and they're not trading everyone, he continues to turn the other way. In the most recent edition of the Oakland Purge, Tank Commander Gruden orders Freckle Face Reggie to have Amari Cooper walk the plank down to the inglorious depths of Jerry World. Luckily for the Raiders, the Cowboys are stupid enough to offer a first round pick for a guy who has a serious case of dropsies. AC/DC has officially broke up, not the actual band at least. Tank Gruden proceeds to pull out more names on the trading block, putting Bruce Irvin and Karl Joseph out there. As if the Chuckster has no idea how much of a rift he caused in the locker room and in the front office. To make matters worse, the hometown Beast had to be put down until December, leaving Oaklanders absolutely zero reasons to give a fuck about this season as this team prepares to wander into the desert after this season is done with. Unfortunately, it's another middle finger to the town that bore them. You'd really think they want to win one last time for the city of Oakland? To add more insult to injury, Captain Checkdown Derek tweeted that he loves the struggle of fighting back for Oakland. Oh, the irony coming from a guy who called out Oakland Raider fans in mourning as fake fans last year when the Las Vegas move was first announced. As a matter of fact be glad the Tank Commander hasn't dropped you to the wolves with that $125 million sitting on your lap.

With all the lies, slander, and division surrounding this shitshow, the only thing that could remedy all this is a win against the hapless Colts and their quarterback, Andrew who is down on his "Luck." As Checkdown Derek is assured his starting job is safe, now was his time to erase the horrors of 2016 against the same Colts team in the same Oakland Coliseum. Somehow, someway Checkdown Derek rekindled the Derek Carr that was fearless two years ago. It was the resurrection of our lord and savior indeed as Carr threw 3 TD passes and snuck in for a rushing TD. The man eluded every pressure that the Colts D threw at him. But, that wasn't enough to stop General Luck and the union army from Indianapolis. While the offense did work, the defense continued to be walking doormat for opposing offenses. How ironic that a running back who has the last name Mack ran over this pathetic excuse for a run defense as Marlon Mack rushed for 132 yards and 2 TDs. Perhaps it was a harbinger of things to come when the actual Mack from Chicago returns to wherever the fuck the next home is next year for the Silver and Black shitshow. Now, it's the shitshow who are down on their luck in this game as General Andrew romped over Tank Commander Gruden's unit through the air with 3 TDs, two of them to Tight Ends. Ah, the glory days when this defense made average Joe Tight Ends looks like Pro Bowlers. To make matters worse, Doug Martin forgets how to hold onto the fucking football as he makes a costly turnover late in the fourth to put the game on ice.

Overall, it was a good cock tease to give a Raider Nation in the midst of a "Warring States Period" a glimmer of hope. But then the team remembers that they have a tank job to do for picks that may turn out to be the next Khalil Mack or Amari Cooper if they ever find one. List out as many lies and excuses as you want Chucky. Fill out all 32 draft boards in the first round if you like. Just don't lose to the Red and Gold Diggers in my hometown on Thursday please? That's all I ask. The last Battle of the Bay has the makings to be the shitshow of all shitshows that fans would rather surf on their phones with the state-of-the-art WiFi at Levi's rather than pay attention to the shitty product that's in front of them. At least the Bay Area still has the Warriors and their fucking OP team.

Lakers Weekly Roundup (10/28): "Two Wins, But Still Can't Beat the Spurs!"

*Some NSFW language*

Welcome in to the first edition of the Lakers' Weekly roundup. So, our Lakers carried on without Slenderman and Rondo Rousey (for 75% of this week). This wasn't a bad week for Showtime reincarnate, but they couldn't find a way to beat the San Antonio White Walkers lead by the Pop King. Let's see how they fared for the week:

Oct 22: vs. San Antonio [L] 143-142 (OT) (0-3)

Full postgame recap HERE

Once again, the defense had a lot of problems as they allowed the Spurs to drop 40 points in the first quarter. KuzMania ran wild to lead the Lakers back so did LeBron with a game tying three. Unfortunately, we were introduced to the old glory days of LeBron turning from "LeClutch" to "LeChoke" as he missed key free throws down the stretch, which set up the Spurs to steal one in LaLa Land.

Oct 24: @ Phoenix [W] 131-113 (1-3)

HIGHLIGHTS

Finally Luke! It took you long enough to insert Josh Hart in the lineup over Kentavious Caldwell-Poop. The lineup changes translated in a W over the hapless Suns, which saw unlikely contributions from JaVale McGee, Shaqtin' a Fool legend with 20 points and 4 blocks and Make 'em Dance Lance Stephenson with 23 points, 8 rebounds, and 8 assists off the bench. Then again, this win is against the lowly Suns who despite having a promising young core are still having all kinds of problems. GM fired. More injuries plague Devin Booker. I wouldn't be surprise if this team also tanks for Zion Williamson next year. Jeez, how many first round picks do y'all need? Well, trust the process Suns fans. Whatever floats your boat. Maybe your team pulls a Philadelphia 76ers down the line.

Oct 25: vs. Denver [W] 114-121 (2-3)

HIGHLIGHTS

The Lakers come back home to take on the previously undefeated Nuggets after they put a curb stomp on the Suns. The Nuggets just came off an early signature win against the arrogant fucks from the East Bay and dismantling the Queens. Tough test for the Lakers indeed. But, in the words of the late Dennis Green, the Nuggets "are who we thought they were," a fringe playoff team at best in the West. King James pierced a "Lance" on their promising start, taking down the Joker (Nikola Jokic) and his henchmen, while earning his first triple double in the Purple and Gold. Meanwhile, Lonzo Ball was a thief in the night with 5 steals and a cold blooded assassin with a step back 3 at the end of the fourth to put the game away. Hmmm...maybe LiAngelo could learn from his big bro to steal. Steal balls on the court, not steal fake Gucci products in China off the court.

Oct 27: @ San Antonio [L] 106-110 (2-4)

HIGHLIGHTS

Rajon Rondo's Shaqtin' Moment

The Lakers are riding high after a slow start. They can get to .500. They could redeem themselves from Monday's lost against the Spurs by beating them in San Antonio. Rondo is back, they're almost at full strength. Unfortunately, that didn't bode well for coach Walton and his Lukewarm rotation. I mean cause playing two pass first guards in the same lineup works right? Lonzo probably partied a little too hard for his 21st birthday being a non-factor all game. Well, the good thing here is that LeBron surpassed the Master of Awkward Basketball in Dirk Nowitzki on the all-time scoring list. Congrats LeBron. But sorry Rondo had to trigger your PTSD of J.R. Smith in the finals as he passed up a wide open layup for a contested three. The definition of an open layup in the clutch does not exist in the dictionary for Rondo. Then again, Lakers had no timeouts, so I can definitely see why he did that. BUT STILL, WTF WAS THAT LAST PLAY? I think DeMar DeRozan found the right team to break the LeBron jinx he couldn't overcome in Toronto. Oh wait, there's still a lot of games to play.

Changes to the Blog (10/27)

Hey guys, so apologies to that fall out on Thursday. I was supposed to cover the Lakers-Nuggets game here on the blog, but my schedule said otherwise. I'm happy the Lakers got that win though. And they'll look to keep the train rolling tonight against San Antonio in a grudge match from Monday night's gut-wrenching OT loss. Since that set a precedent, I have to start tailoring my schedule of maintaining that work/school/life balance. Obviously weekdays, I work from 8:30AM-5:30PM. A majority of the Lakers' road games are east coast time, so obviously I won't make it too much for road games. Next week, the Lakers play the Timberwolves in Minnesota on NBA TV at 5:00 PM start time. Obviously, they'll be relegated to the new quick recap format I am drawing up right now. For home games and road games that tailor to West Coast time (@ Golden State, @ LA Clippers, @ Phoenix, @ Portland, etc.), I'll have greater availability there since the games usually start at 7:30 PM. Again, to avoid last Thursday's fallout, consider me a game time decision on those days depending on how my schedule works out (that is on my online classes side).

The New Quick Recap Format - Lakers

In the past, I provided quick recaps for games that are not nationally televised. I provide stat lines from the actual NBA.com website and recently, commentary based on the highlights. Starting Monday, I'll have a weekly round up of Laker games that occur during the past week and provide an all-in-one post of those games. That'll include the games I covered that week (like the San Antonio game last Monday night). Instead of putting up stat lines and formal commentary, which people might think is a little passe, I'd thought I put my spin on things in a creative or edgy way. Because honestly, I think this blog needs have a little more attitude put into it. I've been watching a lot UrinatingTree stuff on YouTube lately and me being a former fanfiction writer in my past life, I'd thought I'd rekindle some of that.

The Fate of the Following Raiders Games *NSFW Language*

Ah yes, speaking of a little attitude to this blog, look no further on which of my teams would demonstrate the awesome power of shitposting. If you haven't looked at Week 6's recap where I ripped the team a new one after their abomination in London, you'd probably be wondering where I'm getting at. The Silver and Black Shitshow will be an idea incarnated because of the dumpster fire that is surrounding this team that I used to call the Raiders. The main players that'll revolve around is the Tank Commander himself, the Chuckster, Jon "Spider 2 Y I'm Gonna Trade Ya For Picks" Gruden, "$125 million Checkdown" Derek as they embark on a quest to become the dumpster of all dumpster fires in their road to Vegas, and Mark Davis, whose face looks like it was over cooked in an oven and has a haircut that makes Lloyd Christmas' hair look fairly decent. Perhaps, this is going to be some therapy after eating up a pile of those losses. Because honestly, this team is devoid of a whole lot of talent. The first chapter will premiere on Wednesday before they take on their twin Bay Area Red and Gold shitshow in the final Battle of the Bay showdown on Thursday night. Bragging rights? More like which Bay Area football team isn't absolute shit rights. But first, they get their hands Sunday against the Colts and an Andrew who is down on his Luck.

No Lakers-Nuggets Coverage on the Blog Tonight

Okay, so this one is on me since I underestimated my real life schedule big time. As the headline reads, I am cancelling the open thread of Lakers-Nuggets on TNT tonight. Just bear in mind, you'll see a couple of no-shows from me in the coming weeks. As you know, I'm working and taking some graduate courses, so you understand the difficulty of work/school/life balance. I'll go into this more in a little detail on a separate post. Thanks for understanding guys.

From Hero to Zero: LeBron Carries Lakers to OT; Misses Free Throws vs. Spurs

Welcome in to the full recap of the Lakers' matchup vs. the San Antonio Spurs where it was an offensive exhibition between both teams as they carried it to OT. But in the end, the Spurs came out on top, beating the Lakers 143-142.

All of that effort and it all was in vein. I'm still frustrated at that loss. But at the end of the day, good teams find ways to win. And the Spurs, as much of a makeover they've done over the offseason, as long as Gregg Popovich is coaching that team in San Antonio, they're a good team until further notice. The Lakers had every opportunity to put the Spurs away in that OT. They had all that momentum. But, an ill-advised three, free throws and giving Patty Mills all kinds of room to hit the game-winner cost the Lakers here. It didn't help that the defense spared the Spurs 40 points to start the game. The loss against Houston was frustrating. This was one of the more disappointing losses to start the season.

(+)

Kyle Kuzma, 37 points, 8 rebounds, 15-25 shooting. No Brandon Ingram, it was time for "Kuzmania" to run wild. And did he now. The whole game changed when Kuzma took over the scoring in the 2nd half. He was just an absolute monster from end-to-end and off the dribble. He showed no fear of absorbing contact from the man in front of him, attacking the basket at will. The three-point shot down stretch was bigger than LeBron's game-tying three. My only gripe is why didn't we get the ball to him more in OT? Luke Walton and the coaching staff ran sets for LeBron, but what about Kuzma in that situation? They could've taken off some pressure from LeBron with the way Kuzma's been performing.

Josh Hart, 20 points, 10 rebounds, 2 steals, 8-14 shooting. Honestly, Luke Walton should give the reins for Hart to start going forward. Three games in and he's outperformed KCP this game. The double-double stat line right here says it all. He shot the three-ball here when needed. He hustled his tail off this game. He's clearly in sync with LeBron than KCP is. Start him!

Johnathan Williams, 8 points, 4 rebounds, 3 blocks. JaVale McGee fouled out early in OT. Zubac was non-factor as usual. Luke had to go deep into the bench to put Johnathan Williams into the rotation. And he put the minutes to good use, especially in OT. Williams' hustle and defense was there, but it was all in vein.

(-)

DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge. DeRozan broke the LeBron jinx for now. Both he and Aldridge shredded the Lakers inside tonight. DeRozan with 32 points and 14 assists. Aldridge with 37 points and 10 rebounds. DeRozan disrupted the Lakers' defensive assignments and he got a lot of teammates involved from Rudy Gay to Bryn Forbes to Patty Mills the list goes on. He did damage as a mid range scorer and facilitator. But, the guy who did the most damage was LaMarcus Aldridge. His 15-foot jumpshot is near unstoppable. No matter how many looks the Lakers threw at him, he just found ways to score and find himself to put up more points on the free throw line. He was the main why Patty Mills was able to knock down the game-winning shot was because the defense feared Aldridge inside the post that much. Mills faked the pass to Aldridge on Lonzo and that allowed Zo to flinch a bit to get the double team on Aldridge. The Spurs executed that perfectly and Mills used that open space to knock down the J to secure the Spurs a victory.

LeBron James. For the namesake of this title. This was one of the many concerns of bringing in LeBron. Despite, some godly statistics he finds ways to just crack under pressure when the team needs him to take over. Don't get me wrong, LeBron had a solid game with 32 points, 8 rebounds, and 14 assists. He hit the game tying three. He would've been in my MVP conversation along with Kuzma. But, there were some critical mistakes he made down the stretch in OT. 'Bron went for the "home run" three to try and put the Spurs away. It clanked off. The Spurs hit a three to cut the Lakers lead to one. LeBron at the free throw. Needed two or one out of two, he didn't hit any of them. The game-winning 3-point attempt that rimmed off. Those were prime examples of why we used to call LeBron "LeChoke" all those years of rooting against him. It also didn't help he started 1-9 from the field.

Luke Walton. You're thinking correctly if Luke Walton is on the hot seat. The defense has allowed 100+ points a game. Rotations are questionable. He puts in Zubac over Johnathan Williams first. As a result, non-factor. Sets off the timeout are dull and uninspiring. And he's still electing to go with KCP over Josh Hart. I've predicted this in my season preview. He's gotta start coaching for his job. Then again, Portland, Houston, and San Antonio have high-powered offenses, so maybe I'll give a little leeway. But, if Phoenix drops 100+ points too, then trouble lies ahead for Luke.

MVP

Kyle Kuzma, 37 points, 8 rebounds, 15-25 shooting

LeBron would've been here too had he not choke out the game. Kuzmania ran wild tonight and he helped carry the Lakers back in this game. Again, I don't understand why Luke didn't involve him more in OT. He was clearly in the zone tonight.




Conclusion

If I heard correctly, no team has ever gone to the playoffs after 0-3. After this dismal start to the season, it's time we pump the brakes on this Lakers team. Clearly, this team needs a lot more time to build chemistry and it doesn't help that your promising star and savvy vet PG is not on that floor for multiple games. I still have this team going 6-8 seed at best, missing out in the playoffs at worst. Those expecting an instant championship or Western Conference Finals appearance need to tamper down expectations a bit. It was all fun and games, now we gotta look at the big picture. This team has a long ways to go before they can get back to championship material. Wednesday should be a start going up against Phoenix. Then again, the West is very unpredictable. So anything can happen. The game will not be nationally televised so as usual, expect a quick recap from me. But, I'm going to do something different this time around and you will see it the week after. Next nationally televised game is Thursday on TNT against the Nuggets. You wonder how much more trouble defending Jokic would be compared to Aldridge tonight. I'll see you guys for that game.

10/22: LAKERS vs. Spurs 2nd Half Open Thread

2nd half open thread of the Lakers-Spurs matchup. As usual, leave a comment below and share your thoughts on the game.

OT

SAS 143 LAL 142

They had it. They almost had it. Just a couple of dumb luck decisions in the final stretch. Stay tuned for the full recap.

Q4

SAS 128 LAL 128

This game has been unbelievable! The Spurs had a six point lead down the stretch. Usually, that would be over there. But a clutch three from Kuzma cut the lead to three. The Lakers needed a defensive stop. They get one. And who better to tie it up with LeBron James who couldn't hit anything from beyond the arc. He hit it when it mattered the most. And he wasn't even ready for that possession. LeBron was directing traffic and Hart prematurely gave it to him. And he's like "I'll take this shot." And we're tied. OT here!

Q3

SAS 99 LAL 96

That was a good effort there to get back in the game. It was just marred by that wasted possession down the stretch and Davis Bertans' 3-point shot for San Antonio to maintain the lead. So far, that small-ball lineup with Svi, Williams, Stephenson, Kuz, and Hart has worked. That lineup was responsible to help rally the Lakers to make this a three-point game. But on the Spurs' side, LaMarcus Aldridge was a man among boys that quarter. No matter how good the Lakers defended him, they just couldn't find a way to stop his sweet turn around J. The Lakers are fortunate to be down just three. And LeBron hasn't taken over the game yet. Looking at it, Luke Walton will stick with the same small-ball lineup to start the 4th quarter.

10/22: LAKERS vs. San Antonio Spurs 1st Half Open Thread

Welcome in to the first half open thread of the Lakers' home matchup vs. the San Antonio Spurs. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts on the game.


Q2

SAS 65 LAL 60

Ah, that last shot by Kuzma was way off. That would've had Staples Center explode off the roof tops heading into the half. At least, this was a much better effort from the Lakers this quarter than the last one. The Lakers are better off when they're playing at their fast pace and we saw a lot of that this quarter. It all starts on the defensive end. This team settled down defensively and started generating some turnovers on the Spurs' side as well as securing defensive rebounds here and there. JaVale McGee and Kyle Kuzma brought the hustle and aggressiveness. Kuz in particular just took this quarter over. The team is short-handed without Ingram and Rondo and he just took matters into his own hands, scoring inside and going coast-to-coast in transition. Overall, the fast pace system was on full display here as it was non-existent in the first quarter. They just now have to find a way to contain the Spurs' motion offense for the rest of the game, especially stop their midrange game. The Spurs were effective with that in the first half. As usual, they play some really great team basketball under Gregg Popovich. That's the main difference this game. The other? LeBron James hasn't gone off yet. So this deficit is definitely favorable on the Lakers' side to set up a 2nd half takeover from the King. We'll see what happens. The 2nd half will open up shortly.

Q1

SAS 40 LAL 26

The Lakers got their work cut out for them. This was not a good quarter. The Spurs came right out of the gate and it was a mid range assault for them. DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge had a field day out there from mid range. There was nothing the Lakers can do to stop them. The Lakers had some momentum going with a two-handed slam by KCP and LeBron's no look to Josh Hart. Lonzo Ball got off to a fantastic start with 10 points. But, they're still down by a lot and it's going to be a long climb.