*Some NSFW language*
Well, we heard it from LeBron and Magic Johnson themselves, they are not happy about this start. The Magic Man held a private meeting with Luke and if our assumptions are correct, his job is on the line. So it's time for Luke to stop fucking around with rotation experiments and roll with what works. Let's see how they fare for the week:
Oct. 29 @ Minnesota [L] 120-124 (2-5)
HIGHLIGHTS
As drama unfolds upon the Lakers, they do battle against another drama-filled team in the Minnesota Timberwolves. A shootout was what you expect considering the Lakers surrender big chunks of points. Unfortunately, they could not stop Jimmy Buckets as he welcomes LeBron to the West to the tune of 32 points. "YOU CAN'T WIN AGAINST ME!" Screams Jimmy B.
Oct. 31 vs. Dallas [W] 114-113 (3-5)
HIGHLIGHTS
The Lakers go back home to do battle against a rising Mavs team and the European heir apparent to Dirk Nowitzki in Luka Doncic. The Lakers come right out of the gate and put a curb stomping on those horses for three straight quarters, this should be an easy win. But, the Lakers decided to nearly pull their best Atlanta Falcons blew a 28-3 lead impression as they allowed the Mavs to storm right on back and eventually tying the game up. Fortunately, Wesley Matthews went full bonehead as he fouled LeBron. All LeBron has to do is just make one free throw, which he did and that was all she wrote. A bipolar victory indeed.
Nov 3 @ Portland [W] 114-110 (4-5)
HIGHLIGHTS
Congratulations Lakers, you've finally ended the 16 game losing against those schmucks from the Pacific Northwest. Fitting the win was in Portland as that was the last Lakers' win four years ago. Hard to believe of all former Lakers, Wesley freakin' Johnson was the last player to lead the Lakers to victory. "Dame Time" definitely ran out on this one. "Playoff" Rondo showed up earlier than expected with a near triple-double of 18 points, 10 rebounds, and 8 assists as he finger rolled the Blazers to death with layups. The Lakers built a comfortable lead in the third quarter, then as usual decided to make it interesting than normal in the fourth. I swear these wins are making us bipolar. Happy they won, but not happy they almost squandered what was a decisive lead in Q3.
Nov. 4 vs. Toronto [L] 121-107 (4-6)
HIGHLIGHTS
On this day of November 4, 2018, the City of "LeBronto" declared independence from the clutches of their ruler King James and reverted back to Toronto. To add insult to injury, they were without one of the original "King Slayers" Kawhi Leonard and yet the Raptors still kicked the Lakers' ass. They were carried by Serge Ibaka and Kyle Lowry who endured King James' reign of terror in all those years. Ibaka rekindled his game that was lost in his OKC years with 34 points and 10 rebounds while Lowry had a double-double with 21 points and 15 assists. Unfortunately, there was not much the Lakers could do as the Raptors steamrolled them. They had a chance in the 4th quarter, but the curb stomping was insurmountable. The North shall remember this day in history.
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