This is the final part of our banter. The first part was basically an appetizer and basically both me and Stillmattic exchanging insults and memes and it got to the point where we really went off topic and start referencing stuff that we have in common like Anime and video games. In this part, this is where we get to the meat of the whole conversation. We start being more analytical and start exchanging cold hard facts regarding both of our teams and their respective fanbases, the Niner Empire and the Raider Nation. Enjoy.
KEY:
MG = MechG
SMT = Stillmattic
*WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE VIEWER'S DISCRETION ADVISED*
SMT: This is bringing in the best of both worlds. Cuz we Soaring and Flying over the Raider Nation. It's Leonides vs. Xerxes ladies and gentlemen. Leonides leads us into battle while Xerxes (Carr) just waits for us to attack
MG: Why do you guys even call yourselves the Niner Empire then if you're going to reference the Niners as Leonidas and the 300 spartans? No Xerxes is Kaepernick while Carr is Leonidas. The Niner Empire is the Persian Empire and the Raider Nation is SPARTA! GET IT RIGHT! Because we will fight to the death to remain in Oakland to remain in the Bay Area and what better way to shock the Bay Area by beating the best in the Bay!
SMT: Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk, but you're no bite. You bit off more than you can chew. Talk is cheap and unless you prove this weekend, the Empire crushes Nations. We shall overcome because we are headstrong.
MG: Well I'm not gonna sugar coat that. Our last regular season win against you guys was in 2000. Almost a decade. I bet you didn't know that fact did you? See that's how you separate the bandwagoners from the loyal and dedicated fans. Funny thing is you weren't even a Niner fan when they won against us 2002, 2006, and 2010 so how can you brag when you still have to witness a win first hand as an actual fan?
SMT: I'm like a baby taking his first steps. I've been informed about our past victories and I can proudly say, I am glad you were crushed. #Newbeginnings #Themoreyouknow
MG: And apparently that baby tends to cry and whine whenever the Niners lose. Just like every Niner bandwagoner out there. And you know what grinds my gears?
SMT: Your team sucking this weekend?
MG: The have the nerve to take their frustrations out on us every single fucking time they lose! Even in the years we're not playing against each other. Here is the basic algorithm for Niner fans:
Did the Niners win?
YES => Talk Shit about the Raiders
NO => Talk Shit about the Raiders
SMT: We're a proud team. Everyone else is the enemy. We like the Terminators, ya'll are targets
MG: And then there's the Shermanator that kills those Terminators. But you know something? It's Kaepernick's lucky day! He gets to throw to another #25!
SMT: He better not F up this time. This is the BATTLE OF THE BAY. Bay Area be going apesh*t over this. We've been waiting for this ever since it was announced. Kaepernick, you DO NOT WANT TO DISAPPOINT US BY PASSING IT TO SOMEONE ELSE!
MG: I could totally imagine "Kaepernick throws IT'S INTERCEPTED BY D.J. HAYDEN! You know who we also got? Your former teammates who know you guys inside and out. Tarell Brown and Carlos Rogers! Except Rogers is out for the season, but still we got Tarell!
SMT: Teamwork is the key this. Where was yours during the RAMS game?
MG: Where was yours when the RAMS shocked you in your own house? Because Kaepernick was fumblin and tumblin.
SMT: Seems like your coordination was a bit off and your perceptions were off as well. So what makes you so sure that this weekend won't be the next Masscare? We both got F'd in the RAMs It's like they want us to pit against one another and the winner dukes it out with them in a rematch. You guys will be fumblin, tumbling, jumblin, crumbling.
MG: Do you even see the games? Your offense is not that good and Kaepernick looks lost out there. I see all the games, I hear the complaints from Niner fans. Hey just be lucky you guys have a solid defense because your offense ain't doing shit
SMT: That's why we prepping. Prepping and ya'll be wiping yo candy @$$es
MG: By the way, guys in the comments section who do you think is winning these war of words? Comment Stilmattic or MechG below and let us know.
MG: Don't let the next game against the Seahawks at Seattle get through your head. Ask the Chiefs they were looking ahead to Denver over us for 1st place in the AFC West and you know what happened? We caught them by surprise and gained our first win. Cuz we're the RAIDERS and even though we don't have a winning season in the past 12 years, we find ways to spoil the hopes and dreams of playoff and potential Super Bowl contenders and catch those motherfuckers by surprise!
SMT: Highlander: There can only be one. This Weekend ~ Battle of the Bay.
MG: I think that's good place to stop. So time for some final thoughts. What do you think the Niners should do to get this win?
SMT: And what do you the Raiders need to do to amp up their game? Comment below and let us know
MG: So Stillmattic, what do your Niners need to do?
SMT:
1) Not F Up
2) Not choke
3) No passing it to the other team
4) Keep our Cool
5) Be Aggressive
6) Offense & Defense needs to be balanced
7) No Fumbles
8) Try to get 1st Down quickly
9) Think before you act
10) Kiss your biceps long
And what of you MechG, what is your strategy that you'd recommend to the Raiders?
MG: Well this is where my football expertise comes to play:
1) Defense has to show up (Jason Tarver's playcalling included)
2) Give Marcel Reece the ball
3) Give Latavius Murray the ball
4) Greg Olson has to stop calling pussy ass offensive plays
5) O-line's gotta contain Ahmad Brooks, Justin Smith, and Aldon Smith from getting to Carr
6) No quick 3 and outs
7) Turn Khalil Mack and Sio Moore loose, they have the speed to get after Kaepernick
8) This is in OAKLAND! And this may be the last Battle of the Bay game if the Raiders decide to move out of Oakland after this season
9) Derek Carr, like Tony Sparano said this is your team, this is also a game for bragging rights, make good decisions and override Olson's boring @$$ playcalling if needed
10) Receivers, CATCH THE GODDAMN BALL WHEN DEREK CARR THROWS TO YOU! Get separation too and run the right freakin' routes!
SMT: 10vs10 Perfect!
MG: Well, looks like that wraps it up. Stillmattic a pleasure working with you. We managed to get through this without any fist fights or brawls happening. Anyway Battle of the Bay Week 14 49ers vs. Raiders I will provide the Q-by-Q, Halftime, and Full Recap posts on Sunday. Kickoff is at 1:25 PM Pacific Time. Be sure to check out Stillmattic's blog on bleachzealot.blogspot.com to keep track of our current collaboration. And Stillmattic, say what you always say every time you wrap up a post.
SMT: Thank You again. It was pleasure! Be sure to check for updates during the game
MG: Dude where's your catchphrase?
SMT: Stay Classy! May the best team win *cough* 49ers
MG: Raiders! Ok guys, I'll see you on Sunday.
49ers vs. Raiders, kickoff at 1:25 PM Pacific Time on Sunday, Q-by-Q, Halftime, and Full Recap post will be provided. Remember to check out Stillmattic's blog on bleachzealot.blogspot.com to see our current Fight Night collaboration.
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